NZ: The Riviera of Canterbury

Weegie Waiter: "Shae called me Irish!"

Genghis: "Glasgow, right?"

Weegie: "Correct."

Cook: "Well at least she didn't call you Welsh."

The Bishop ( pointing to the dragon on his cap ): "Now wait a minute!"

NZ: Edoras

The king greeted us at the great hall, and The Bishop complimented him on the beauty of his lands. The stories did not do The Riddermark justice, and I was glad we made the long trek from the coast to see the horse plains and it's capital.



The Lizard wandered about the landing where Eowyn once stood, grieving over her cousin. The wind whipped my comrade's hair as it must have done Eowyn's, and I was filled with emotion.



I turned my attention to the north, where the great battle took place at Helm's Deep. How outnumbered and heroic Theoden's host had been, and I was proud to be spending the evening in the midst of his kin.

Rohan

NZ: Skipping Rope

http://www.mackenziethorpeart.com/

NZ: "He doesn't know how to use the three seashells! "

Lizard, Bishop and Genghis stare at the NZ toilet.

The Lizard: "Try pushing the one with the slash-mark on it"

The Bishop: "Are you sure? What if that's the wrong one?"

Genghis stops himself from pushing the button.

Genghis: "Are you saying one is for 'number one' and the other is for 'number two'? Man, I thought you were anal, but evacuation segregation takes the cake."

NZ: Space-Time Distortion Hallucinations

The Bishop fretted, "It feels colder than predicted. I don't think I brought the proper gear. I'm going to freeze before we make the mountain pass."

"We have a day before we head for the pass, and we can try to find you what you need here on the coast, " The Lizard reminded. "In the meantime, perhaps you still just need to get acclimated to the change we underwent crossing the space-time barrier?"

The Bishop didn't seem convinced. He was grumpier than ever.

I had to admit that even I was not feeling myself after passing across The Time Change Barrier. In fact, I think I was beginning to hallucinate. The walls of the lodging we had aquired appeared to be covered with disrobed women.

Unlike The Bishop, however, I wasn't complaining...

NZ: You have to pass the Barrows...

...with Ringwaiths harrasing you at every turn, before you can get to Rivendell and sample the strawberry shampoo.

NZ: LAX

Cool weather.
Not so cool airport.

NZ: Airline Burger

Charbroiled to perfection on a open fire grill... with a Milky Way side.

NZ: Got those flight cancelled blues...

(The Lizard wipes the blood off her weapon after lashing the rude woman trying to cut in line, and turned back to the gate counter...)
American Air Rep: "I can get you on Continental at 1720, but Genghis will have to fly standby."
Lizard: (her mouth abnormally forming a frown) "OK, but I'm not leaving without him"
AA Rep: "Shouldn't be an issue... Oh look, you've been selected SSSS..."
Lizard: "Is that good?"
AA: "Depends, do you like cavity searches?"

NZ: Automatic Toilet Problems

Automatic toilets:
Good idea for those who require a fresh bowl.
Bad idea for the efficient and economic use of toilet seat covers

NZ Mission: First Breakfast

Elevensies will be later...

The Fauchard

I walked out into the courtyard after supper. The air was heavy and humid, but yet a crowd had gathered. The Bishop and The Lizard were disagreeing, as good friends do. I moved closer to see what the matter was.

"F-o-o-c-h-a-r-d," The Bishop confidently whispered.

"No, I believe it to be f-a-u-c-h-a-r," The Lizard politely replied.

"What are you two quarreling about this time," I grinned.

"The young ones are competing in a contest." The Lizard informed me, her hand presenting seven children on the crier's stand.

The Bishop elaborated: "One that tests the mind on accuracy of spelling a word."

"Hmm," I mused, looking over the nervous young faces, and my two academic friends in observance. "What word are they attempting to spell?" I finally asked.

"Foe-shard," The Bishop slowly sounded out for me.

"Oh, fauchard," I smiled, "f-a-u-c-h-a-r-d."

The Lizard's eyes grew wide along with her ever present smile. The Bishop turned with a frown.

"Why would you think it was spelled that way?" He asked.

"It's a weapon. Big poleaxe. I don't prefer it, but I've snapped a few in my day. I've also requisitioned them."

As if on cue, the competing child repeated my spelling and received an approval from the judge of the competition. I winked at The Lizard. The Bishop stared at me, his mouth slightly agape, trying to comprehend how a lug like myself might actually know how to spell the names of the tools of my trade.

I politely nodded and headed off for an evening drink, as the contest judge sounded out the next word: "Trit-uh-cay-lee."

I decided to keep walking and not enrage The Bishop with my knowledge of cereals and grains...


http://www.spellingbee.com/07bee/rounds/Round08.htm

The Rover

http://genghismaximus.livejournal.com/2366.html