Guinness Ice Cream.... Genius!

Amy's sure knows how to show a brother a good time on his birthday!

The Judge

Harvard recently requested the services of the Hon. Genghis Maximus to judge this year's science fair.

I'm a busy myrmidon, shaving my head and picking out skirts, and my brother Justice usually takes on these judicial roles. So how did I reply when the HISD Math and Science Magnet Elementary made it's query?

"Here come da judge!"

Expecting to be given a box of gold stars to place on every half-eaten paste collage posted on the wall, I was pleasantly amazed when they handed me a full page grading form that detailed the scientific method (Problem, Hypothesis, Materials/Experimental Variables, Log book, Data/Data Presentation Results, Conclusion) with point ranges for each category. I was assigned the fresh minds of the Pre-K and Kindergarten class projects, and then informed that the entries were the school finalists for the age range: I should show no quarter since the winner would advance to regional competition.

This public school wasn't screwing around.

I advanced forward on my mission. Critically I evaluated the entries, stoically performing my duties as eager little eyes glanced my direction during class changes.

The subject matter of each project was intriguing. Of note were:

• The bilingual entry which attempted to determine the primary locomotive appendage of Betta fish.
• "Will it float" -- Not a Letterman stunt, but a highly participatory investigation of the difference between weight and density.
• An experiment on the effects of light, water and soil type on growing several different kinds of beans.

And my favorite:

• A determination on how much larger a crocodile will grow in fresh water compared to salt water.

Finally I finished my task, and a winner was chosen. I felt drained and accomplished, like The 721's battles of old. I am certain my comrades Traten, Edge, Sandy and Justice would agree that the ribbon of honor bestowed upon me this day was the equal to any given us when we rid the land of evil in the past.

On to regionals!

On Winning The Lottery

"I'd buy me some midgets," BoHunk stated, without hesitation.

I paused, looked at him, smiled and queried, "Midgets?"

"Yeah, midgets." He confirmed in his normal, happy demeanor. "You remember in the 80's when Van Halen went on tour with a bunch of midget body guards?"

"You mean you'd hire a bunch of midgets to be your entourage?"

"I wouldn't rent them. I'd buy 'em."

"You'd buy a bunch of midgets?"

"Yep"

"You know slavery went out of style back in the 19th century? Not very good for the karma and all."

"Yeah... it's probably why I haven't won yet."

Genghis at Live Journal

http://genghismaximus.livejournal.com/